My husband appeared on the baby monitor every night at 2 a.m. carrying a mysterious paper bag—when I finally watched him open it, I gasped

purposes only

By morning, I had created three different explanations, and none were good.

Maybe he was drinking every night because he could not sleep otherwise.

Maybe he ate secretly because dinner was not enough.

Or perhaps he was writing down all the reasons he regretted this life, our baby, and me.

When I woke at seven, Ethan was already in the nursery.continue reading …